Well I can't actually describe “love” as such. But I can surely tell you a story depicting the same. So here you go.....
I had to let him go
“I am sorry. I can't really remember.....”
His words tore me apart. Just one month earlier, we had watched the sun set and held each other. He comforted me while I asked him why my best friend and I just couldn't get along anymore. But tonight, his mind was somewhere else; he couldn't remember that special night.
Why was he so distant? Was he so lost in his pain that had been haunting him for so long?
There were nights he cried himself to sleep remembering the harsh words of his mother. He told me how much he dreaded spending the weekends with her because it meant another 72 hours of being blamed for everything that went wrong. The nagging didn't stop – she harassed him because he got lower grades than his brother. He was not the perfect son she wanted. She said he was dumb; a disappointment to her. His skills in art were undeniable but her criticism led him to think he was useless.
The only thing that kept him alive, he told me, was our love. Friends for years, now dating, he needed me. In one of the letters I received from him he said, “you are my family. Just you. We can be a family”
At that time I believed him. I promised him I would be his family. I would always love him and never leave him alone. Few days went by and I now knew when he was happy and smiling and when his day was bad. Whenever he was sad, all he knew was to return the hurt to the undeserving. He said things which were cruel, apologizing the next day. Though I loved him, I couldn't take away his pain. Soon I realized my love could not compete with his inner pain. Though it hurt I realized he needed professional help rather than me. I had to let him go.
The night I told him this could not continue, tears stung my eyes as never before. He thought I had lied to him, I deceived him. But I hadn't lied to him but myself because I believed that all he needed was my love. Right now my love was only causing pain.
He had built a separate world in which only me and him existed. I knew the walls would crumble if he kept relying on me only.
Yesterday I saw him for the first time in a year. His eyes sparkled and the light came from within. The darkness is lifting because he allowed more people in his life, who helped him in more ways than I ever could. Although the painful memories will always remain, he is now beginning to believe in himself. Yesterday I realized even perfect love can't protect someone from himself. And the most loving thing you can do for someone is to let him go.
